The Unparalleled Truth About Anger, Women and Speaking Up

By Holli Rovenger | Sexuality

Nov 09

Women and Anger regarding Sexual Harassment

Women and Anger is talked about in the article Brave Enough to Be Angry that was just in the New York Times. It is related to all the sexual harassment charges being finally brought to the surface, and talked about. It brings up a lot of questions.

Why have Women held back from speaking out?  Why did we feel like we had to hold back? Yes, it can be the fact that nobody will believe us, yes it can be that we are afraid we’ll lose our jobs (or not get one), yes it can be  embarrassment, yes it can be lack of self-esteem, and yes it can be the lack of being comfortable in our own bodies. But … here’s another reason women have held back. It’s our Frustration with the lack of follow up action with the few that did speak out in the past. We are angry and outraged about all the sexual harassment that has happened over the years. We are angry that more women haven’t come forward before. We are angry that this has happened in our society, and men have been allowed to use their positions to exploit us.

Click here to read the original article Brave Enough to Be Angry

In the article it says, “Thurman is seething, like we have all been seething, in our various states of breaking open or, as Thurman chooses, waiting. We are seething at how long we have been ignored, seething for the ones who were long ago punished for telling the truth, seething for being told all of our lives that we have no right to seethe. Thurman’s rage is palpable yet contained, conveying not just the tempestuous depths of #MeToo but a profound understanding of the ways that female anger is received and weaponized against women.”

In this article Uma also states,

“I did not call myself a feminist until I was nearly 20 years old. My world had taught me that feminists were ugly and ridiculous, and I did not want to be ugly and ridiculous. I wanted to be cool and desired by men, because even as a teenager I knew implicitly that pandering for male approval was a woman’s most effective currency. It was my best shot at success, or at least safety, and I wasn’t sophisticated enough to see that success and safety, bestowed conditionally, aren’t success and safety at all. They are domestication and implied violence.

To put it another way, it took me two decades to become brave enough to be angry. Feminism is the collective manifestation of female anger.”

Final thoughts about Women and Anger

And I feel what naturally follows is that feminism (feminist) is not a dirty word. For too long speaking out, and feminism has been looked down on. I say it’s about time we change this!

So why do we have to get brave to be angry? My opinion is that besides all the things that could be misconstrued, we are again as I initially mentioned, very frustrated. This is not the 18th Century. We are not living in the Stone Age. Why are Women not considered “equal” citizens? {Yes, ladies by law we are not considered equal ~ the ERA has not passed yet}.

What are men afraid of?  The majority of us are not saying we don’t want to be treated like a lady, that we don’t want to feel pretty and have a man protect us to some degree. We do want this! After all, most men are bigger and stronger and able to be the protector. What we are saying is that we want equal pay for equal training and equal work, we want to be treated respectfully both outside and inside the bedroom, that we don’t want to be treated as “sex objects” for you to grab when we don’t want you to grab us. It. Is. A. Simple. Request. RESPECT.

Why is this so difficult?  We aren’t trying to be threatening to men at all. Perhaps if we are all a bit braver and have more conversations, all work on increasing our self-esteem and become more empowered, we can get to where we need to be. We need to speak out when it’s necessary and not be afraid to say NO. 

And for those men who are using their power (both physical strength and “work” power) to “abuse women,” for G-d’s sake STOP. Practice self-control, practice and practice some more. And when you’re tired of practicing, do it again. Get help if you need to. Think about your Mother or daughter in the place of the woman in front of you. Think about women and anger.

What I would suggest to both men and women ~ When you look at yourself in the mirror, really like who you see. Be sure that you want to be friends with that person in the mirror. Be sure you would want to allow your Mom, Daughter, Sister … to associate with the person you see. Be proud of the person you see.

Instead of being afraid of it, try placing more value on the fact that the Dalai Lama said ~ “The Western Woman will save the World.” Let’s do this together!

You can read more about Women and Sexuality here.

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About the Author

My mission is to Educate, Empower and Elevate Savvy Women to step into their full potential and passion for health, wealth and happiness. I am a dietitian by trade but an entrepreneur in my heart, as well as a best-selling author and speaker who values authenticity, honesty and ethics while taking my message to the world and helping others shift from dependence to independence in all areas of their lives. I see my connections and relationships with others as a way to encourage, energize, and empower them to live up to their full potential.